This is the screen saver I am using on my Blackberry and my laptop at the moment. STOP. REALLY. YOU GOTTA STOP. I am trying to retrain my mind…it is supposedly possible!! I have something going on in my head that needs to stop. It is something I have honestly manifested in my life. I know I asked for it. I know I made it happen. If only I could turn my energies into manifesting positive things in my life as easily as I have manifested something that is not so positive! Am I being enigmatic enough for you? Well, sorry ’bout that, but this is as detailed as I’m gonna get. Back to retraining the mind. One theory I read said when you start thinking thoughts like “I’m depressed” you should immediately start thinking “Purple Frog” (as an example) over and over until you can think of nothing else. As long as you are thinking of that one thing, you can’t think of the other. True enough. I have been trying it this week. When this unwanted thought process comes up, I literally shout NO….ok, only literally in the fact that I am shouting inside my own head, not literally out loud. NO NO NO NO NO. When I was substitute teaching this week (only administering/monitoring a test, so no time was robbed from a student while I conducted my own life experiments!), I wrote NO all over one page. It helped. It helped to change my mind, to make me stop thinking about the thing I was thinking about.
I have read a book about getting over an obsession. It had some great ideas. Write a journal of what triggered the thought, why, what you feel, what you did, etc etc. Yawn. Time consuming. Requires effort. Not gonna do it. I have run through it a bit in my mind, but haven’t really put anything on paper. Another tactic is to berate your behavior for getting you into this jam by having it out with your behavior, supposedly seated in a chair. Okey dokey. Haven’t done that yet. Another tactic that I just thought about today was that day #1, you’re supposed to think about this item/thing/whatever for 14 mins nonstop, then that’s IT. NO MORE. The next day…13 mins. The next…12 mins. And so on. Haven’t done that. I was doing pretty well. Tonight I had a relapse. I am actually connecting BIG TIME with those who have addictions. In this particular thing, I am addicted. Obsessed. And it’s not a good thing.
I’ll get past it. I’ve done better this week than last! Be kind to myelf. Be gentle with myself. Kick myself in the back of the head for being so foolish. Oops! Ooooom. Be kind. Be gentle. Working on it.
