Transitions are hard. Maybe they don’t have to be, but so far I haven’t figured out how to take the easy route.
Going from a big bucks corporate job with numerous departments and many employees directly reporting to me to a stay at home with a baby that just did NOT understand the rules was a big transition. Yes, it was hard. Yes, it freaked me out. And now it seems like the blink of an eye.One day high heels, power suits, people jumping when I said jump. The next day I’m not getting dressed, not showering, not even able to track what day it is. One baby boy went to two baby boys. I was the alpha mom. I ruled. I controlled. I knew everything about everything. Need me to volunteer? I’m there. Head up a committee? I’m your girl. Oh, you need me to be president of this, of that? AND that? Of course I can handle it. This is what I do! And I am really really good at it.
For twenty years (twenty years, people!!) I have been really really good at my job. My job was to be the best mom ever. And I have succeeded. I have raised two of the most amazing young men you would ever want to meet. I’m not just bragging. I think you would think so if you met them as well. Son #1 will be a sophomore at Baylor this fall. He is planning to be an anesthesiologist. He is incredibly smart (doesn’t apply himself so well though….sigh) and has the most amazing heart. He is one of the kindest, most empathetic individuals I have ever seen. I think the world holds great promise for him. Son #2 is Mr. Driven, Mr. Ambition, Mr. Take-The-World-By-The-Horns. He will be a freshman at Baylor this fall, majoring in entrepeneurship. He has already figured out he wants to be his own boss. He’s not quite as easily book smart as #1, but he is incredibly driven. He has goals that he has set for himself for this month, next year, even five years and more from now. Do I have any doubt he will achieve whatever he sets out to achieve? Not a one.
So, yes. I pat myself on the back. I have raised two loving, charming, smart, precious young men. Whatever it is that they have to give the world will be amazing to see as it develops.
And now, because of the job description, which says “Raise your children giving them both roots and also wings to fly “, I have worked myself right out of a job. I will still be the mom, I know that. It just won’t be the 24-hour-a-day-hands -on mom at which I have been so adept. Actually, I can tell I am already the lame duck mom (when WILL she stop with these corporate metaphors??). The boys ask, but know they don’t need permission. They ask because they respect me and care about me. And should I say no, I know they will abide by that. But we both know they are not bound by Mom’s Law anymore. They are young men. They have to start making their own decisions and living with the consequences that such decisions bring. Mom can’t always make it better anymore. (Although I would be quite happy to try!!)
And where does that leave me? Suppose you had a job you at which you were the best ever. You ruled. You knew the ins and outs. You were in demand. People sought your advice on every aspect. There has never been anyone as good at this job as you. For twenty years you have absolutely dominated at this job!
And now? Thanks so much. Buh-bye. Not even a gold watch. A kiss on the cheek as those who you have mentored for years walk away.
So what do you do now? Excellent question. First, I think, you give yourself time to mourn. You mourn what was, what will never be again. You celebrate. You celebrate what a great job you have done. And then begins the transition. The search for a new job, a new title, a new purpose in life is next on the list. Suddenly it is up to you to write the new job description, to determine what skills you want to continue to access. What do you want the next stage of life to look like? The world is open to you, dear girl. It’s a scary time, trying to imagine a brand new life with no rules, no guidelines. But the world has been waiting for you for several years now. Step up and accept the next title, whatever that title may be. The world awaits you.
The world awaits me. Transitions. It’s all good.
